S3 E6: How to Stop Being Jealous | Doubletake, Part I

Jealousy can be psychologically and spiritually devastating if it goes unchecked, but that doesn’t have to be the case.

How can we detect jealousy before damage is done? What role does social media play in worsening these feelings? How can we remove jealousy from our hearts and protect ourselves from feeling it again?

In the second episode of a two-part special, host Mohamad Zaoud talks to Sr. Sarah Sultan and Sr. Najwa Awad, co-authors of the Yaqeen Institute paper, “‘Why Is Everyone’s Life Better than Mine?’ Protecting Yourself from the Dangers of Comparison.”

At a Glance

Why do I feel jealous of others?

Jealousy is a common human emotion that often arises when we perceive a threat to something we value or when we compare ourselves to others. Research shows that jealousy often links to insecurity, fear of loss, low self-esteem, or doubts about being enough. The emotion itself is not the problem; what matters is how we respond to it.

How to control jealousy in daily life

Managing jealousy begins with recognizing it without judgment. Instead of reacting immediately, try to identify the thoughts and fears underneath the emotion. Helpful strategies include:

• Practicing self-awareness and reflection

• Challenging assumptions before accepting them as facts

• Limiting unhealthy comparison

• Focusing on gratitude and personal growth

• Communicating openly when jealousy affects relationships

Research shows that emotional awareness and self-reflection can reduce the intensity of jealous thoughts and reactions.

What causes insecurity and envy?

Insecurity and envy often develop when individuals feel inadequate, fear rejection, or compare themselves unfavorably to others. Past experiences like criticism, betrayal, or emotional wounds can make us more vulnerable to these feelings. Low self-esteem can also play a role. Envy typically involves wanting something another person has, while jealousy is more often linked to fear of losing something important.

How to build confidence to overcome jealousy

Confidence grows when your sense of worth comes from within rather than from comparison or external validation. Helpful ways to strengthen confidence include:

• Recognizing personal strengths and accomplishments

• Practicing self-compassion

• Setting meaningful personal goals

• Reducing negative self-talk

• Celebrating progress rather than perfection

  
  

Mental health experts note that jealousy often decreases as self-esteem and self-acceptance improve.

Can jealousy damage relationships?

Yes, when left unaddressed, jealousy can create mistrust, conflict, emotional distance, and unhealthy relationship patterns. Excessive jealousy may lead to controlling behaviors, constant reassurance-seeking, or suspicion, which can weaken emotional connection over time. However, recognizing and addressing jealousy constructively can strengthen communication and trust within relationships.

How to stop comparing yourself to others

Reducing comparison starts with shifting attention away from other people's lives and back toward your own values, goals, and growth. Helpful approaches include:

• Limiting social media exposure when it triggers comparison

• Practicing gratitude regularly

• Tracking your own progress rather than other people's

• Remembering that people often share highlights rather than struggles

Comparison tends to lose its power when personal growth becomes more important than measuring yourself against others.

What are healthy coping mechanisms for jealousy?

Healthy coping strategies focus on understanding and managing the emotion rather than suppressing it. Effective approaches may include:

• Journaling and self-reflection

• Mindfulness and grounding exercises

• Honest communication in relationships

• Practicing self-compassion

• Seeking therapy when jealousy becomes overwhelming

Research suggests that developing emotional awareness and healthy coping skills can reduce the negative impact of jealousy on mental health and relationships.

How to develop emotional control

Emotional control is not about eliminating emotions but learning how to respond to them effectively. Building emotional regulation may involve:

• Pausing before reacting

• Naming emotions accurately

• Practicing deep breathing or mindfulness

• Challenging distorted thoughts

• Seeking support when needed

Over time, emotional control improves as individuals become more aware of their triggers and develop healthier ways of responding to difficult feelings.

How to shift focus from others to self-growth

Self-growth becomes easier when you define success based on your own values rather than someone else's achievements. Focus on setting personal goals, learning new skills, improving habits, and acknowledging your progress. Research suggests that self-focused growth and self-appreciation can reduce envy and jealousy while improving overall well-being and self-esteem.