S3 E6: How to Stop Being Jealous | Doubletake, Part II

Jealousy can be psychologically and spiritually devastating if it goes unchecked, but that doesn’t have to be the case.

How can we detect jealousy before damage is done? What role does social media play in worsening these feelings? How can we remove jealousy from our hearts and protect ourselves from feeling it again?

In the second episode of a two-part special, host Mohamad Zaoud talks to Sr. Sarah Sultan and Sr. Najwa Awad, co-authors of the Yaqeen Institute paper, “‘Why Is Everyone’s Life Better than Mine?’ Protecting Yourself from the Dangers of Comparison.”

At a Glance

Why do I feel jealous of others?

Jealousy stems from insecurity, fear of loss, and comparison, driving people to feel threatened. Psychologists link jealousy to deeper emotional issues like low self-esteem, fear of rejection, and feelings of inadequacy. Social comparison sparks jealousy. When people compare their relationships, success, looks, or life progress to others, it can lead to feelings of envy. Jealousy is a common human emotion, but it becomes damaging when it controls thoughts, behaviors, or relationships.

How to stop jealousy in relationships

Overcoming jealousy in relationships starts with identifying its root cause and responding thoughtfully. Healthy communication, emotional awareness, and self-reflection reduce relationship jealousy and insecurity.

Helpful steps include:

• Communicating openly without accusations

• Challenging assumptions before reacting

• Building trust and emotional security

• Focusing on your own emotional growth rather than constant comparison

Honesty, emotional maturity, and self-awareness eliminate jealousy in relationships.

What causes jealousy and insecurity?

Jealousy and insecurity stem from past emotional wounds, fear of abandonment, comparison, and negative self-beliefs. Betrayal, rejection, trauma, and emotional neglect can heighten sensitivity to threats in relationships. This makes people more likely to feel jealousy and insecurity.

Jealousy grows in people who doubt their worth or fear losing connection. Their minds look for signs of rejection or replacement.

How to control jealous thoughts

Mental health professionals lead the way by teaching people to slow down emotional reactions and separate facts from fears. They recommend taking control of jealous thoughts by focusing on reality.

• Naming the emotion instead of suppressing it

• Challenging catastrophic thinking

• Redirecting attention away from comparison

• Practicing mindfulness and emotional grounding

Self-compassion and interrupting obsessive thought cycles reduce the intensity of jealousy over time, according to research.

How to build self-confidence and avoid jealousy

Self-confidence grows when you stop comparing yourself to others and seeking external validation. Experts and studies show that jealousy decreases as individuals build self-esteem, identify their strengths, and accept themselves.

Helpful ways to build confidence include:

• Reducing negative self-talk

• Celebrating personal progress instead of comparing yourself to others

• Setting healthy boundaries

• Focusing on your own goals, values, and growth

Confidence eliminates the threat of comparison by making your value independent of others' success or attention.

Can jealousy harm mental health?

Yes, chronic jealousy can negatively affect mental health, relationships, and emotional well-being. Research links persistent jealousy with anxiety, depression, emotional distress, and obsessive thinking patterns.

Excessive jealousy causes harmful behaviors like overthinking, seeking reassurance, and mistrust. It can also lead to emotional withdrawal. These actions raise stress and hurt relationships over time.

How to overcome comparison and envy

Overcoming comparison starts by acknowledging that social comparison distorts our view of other people's lives. Excessive comparison, particularly on social media, leads to envy, low self-esteem, and depression.

To reduce comparison:

• Limit exposure to comparison-heavy environments

• Practice gratitude and self-reflection

• Focus on your own growth and values

• Remind yourself that people usually share highlights, not struggles

Healing from envy is less about becoming “better than others” and more about becoming secure within yourself.